A musing in being soft, wild, and open…

Staying open when things feel heavy is an initiation.

Your heart feels weary and sad.

Your survival instincts are calling you to close, armor up, and shut the world out.

“It’s better this way. I won’t get hurt. No one will ever f*ck with me again,” you chant to yourself, the mantras of a woman scorned.

So you squash every ember of connection. Stifle your vulnerability. Smother the flames of your heart because you have convinced yourself that the world is unsafe.

And with that protection, you also shut out the beauty in life.

Your laughter subsides. Your joy wanes. Your radiance is outed like a candle blown out.

A some point you realize that without pain, pleasure also diminishes.

By avoiding heartache and rejection, you also block your blessings.

In your attempts to control your surroundings, you shut everything out and life became bleak.

There’s an inevitable point in your numbness when you you fall to your knees.

Praying, “God, I am not in control. Guide me to the places where I cannot take myself.”

In your surrender, you break wide open – past the stories, past the armor – and restore your true nature.

You remember that being loving, open, and trusting is your strength.

You feel the power that your softness radiates – within healthy boundaries.

You feel the waves of emotions lapping over you with the awareness that all is a lesson for you. No matter how intense, the heaviness is temporary and “this too shall pass.”

The next time you are feeling yourself contract and shrink, I invite you to this:
Place your hands on your belly and breathe deeply there. Let the inhales and exhales ground you through your waves of emotion. Feel what you need to – the only way out is through. You may stay here for 30 seconds or 30 minutes. Practice staying open to the present moment.

Remember that a blooming flower does not close tightly when a sunny day becomes cloudy or when the wind shifts. It simply remains soft, wild, and open.

P.S. I’m holding space for a few women in my 1 on 1 coaching container called Returning to the Feminine.

In this space, I help female execs and high-performers heal trauma from their bodies, deepen into femininity, and create systems that support them so that they live in alignment with their bodies, have room for their families, and truly love life.

Serious, mature inquiries only. Send a message (dejachaniah@gmail.com) to begin the application process.

I’m curious to know: What does staying open feel like in your body?

xoxo,
D